#Bodyshaming is bodyshaming. No matter who it's directed to

[feministfang]

Beauty culture is extremely normalised to the point women who refuse to conform to beauty standards because they love their natural selves get labelled "pick mes" by none other than self-proclaimed feminists themselves. Patriarchal society has conditioned women to be insecure about each and every feature of their faces or bodies it has deemed as a flaw due to which the idea of a natural looking woman is someone hideous and unattractive for many young women.

These insecure women have build up this one image of a natural female appearance in their minds which they describe as unattractive, and as a consequence, women who naturally do not fit into that unattractive-labelled box get hated on. I am sure we all have encountered at least one gossipmonger in our lives who would assume every woman who does not fit into that box has done something with her face or body because ‘ain’t no way a woman can be naturally beautiful’.

*Woman with rosy cheeks exists* — ‘Oh she must have applied makeup’

*Woman with no dark circles exists* — ‘hey what concealer do you use?’

*Woman with a smooth skin exists* — ‘drop the skincare routine!’

*Woman with big lips exists* — ‘definitely lip filler’

*Woman in her thirties exists* — ‘Botox! Botox! Definitely cosmetic surgery! She doesn’t look like a grandma!’

*Woman loving her natural self exists* — ‘How dare you think you’re not like other girls! Pick me!’

Women get bodyshamed if we do fit into the "ugly-looking" criteria. Women get hated on if we do not. Women are supposed to be hideously flawed if they defy beauty culture. Women with even one less flaw must admit they obey beauty culture. No matter how many times you ditch the beauty standards, you will never escape this nonsense.

I have a message for these insecure clowns:

There is nothing imperfect about you. What’s considered perfect and what’s considered imperfect on a woman is all a patriarchal set up to push us into being weak and desirable for men. Women’s insecurities have risen up along with the rise of feminism to ensure that independent women rejecting traditional gender roles are still submissive and pleasing men. Don’t waste your hard-earned money on expensive cosmetic procedures to look pretty because you are already naturally beautiful. And it doesn’t matter if your natural self is socially desirable or not, women don’t owe beauty to anybody. Please think critically of why you feel insecure about something and why do you even call it a flaw.

But on a strict note, in case you still got time to take out your brain back from the patriarchy’s washing machine, at least refrain from pulling us all down to the level of extreme self-hate where you stand. All women are perfect already. There’s no serious requirement of hiding anything or changing ourselves. But i understand if you cannot relate for now! What you see in others is a direct reflection of yours. But just because you think you are hideous does not mean every woman thinks the same way. Self-love is our only beauty routine so let us love ourselves. 🩷

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Not liking a driver does not give you a free pass to bodyshame them, or to wish literal death and severe harm on them, or to be racist and/or xenophobic towards them. Not liking a team doesn't give you a right to do the above to those afflicted with the team either, or to be misogynistic towards the women involved with those teams. Not liking which team or driver someone supports, does not give you a right to do any of the above.

The drivers and the teams may never see the hate you spill but wait. We all know that they do;

Nicolas Latifi got such severe death threats he had to hire security

I'm not touching on the disgusting racist abuse faced by many of the drivers because there has been far too much to easily unpack but I do want to note that it got so bad last year that Alex for instance got such severe abuse last year his fans had to tell his family to go offline for a few days (not to forget the people who made up conspiracies about him and used his mother's past as a means to justify the abuse they were directing towards him).

I'll never forgot the amount of sexist hate directed at Hannah Schmitz, one of the few and one of the most recognizable women in the paddock who has lead red bulls strategy department the last couple of years, - because apparently women in motorsport are only valid if they're not under the red bull umbrella - which got so bad multiple of the drivers called it out publicly.

The multiple conspiracies created about and general racial discrimination faced by Yuki and Zhou which was and continues to be encouraged and spread by primarily the English speaking journalists and commentators

Let's not forget the sexist chants sung about Sophie Kumpen; Max's mother at Monza, or the literal death threats that were sent to his sister and young nephews.

The way some of you talk about Michael Schumacher, I don't have the words. The ski jokes has not once in the last decade been funny.

I could go on and on. I could literally do this all day.

Sure the drivers might never see it but that doesn't mean nobody will and we all see how conditional any form of your allyship is. "Racism is wrong unless it's about x, sexism is wrong unless it's about y, death threats are wrong unless it's about z, etc". Do better. You cannot claim the moral high ground, if you do any of the above, no matter how much higher you perceive yourself to be than the person you're directing the above towards.

As for death wishes or crash wishes, cop yourselves on to fuck. I would never wish what I've been through, what my family has been through, on my worst enemy, let alone some driver I'll probably never even meet. F1 is nowadays a safe enough sport but that has not always been the case and there is still no 100% guarantee of completely safety. The risk is still there even with all the advancements in safety. So many drivers have lost their lives or have had their lives altered forever as a result of a crash. Some of the drivers on the current grid are directly impacted or know those whose lives have been lost or altered because of a crash. Nearly everyone on that grid has a story. Some of you have their photos as your icons as you wish literal death and injury on their coworkers, their friends. They would be beyond disgusted by you. I can name far too many drivers who lost their lives in this sport, it shouldn't take naming them to make people realize that wishing for some to die like they did is a disgusting act. If it were to come true, would you celebrate? Would you cheer as the red flag came out? I don't think I want to know the answer, considering some of the things I've seen in the main tags over the last couple of years (see that one person who wanted to violently and literally stab and kill a driver or see that disgusting poll about which way would be best to literally kill another driver).

Don't start with but x did this or y fans did that, if they jumped off a cliff, would you? Why are you so eager to lower yourself to what you feel are their low standards or morals? And I don't blame a driver for the actions of someone who calls themselves a fan while doing anything that I've mentioned in this post, because they're not fans, they're people who use the driver they claim to back as a shield and as an excuse for their appalling behavior.

Also, if you have to say "I don't like driver x but I agree nobody deserves this type of abuse", get rid of everything before the but. You don't have to like someone to offer them basic respect or human decency.

[tinyspringtrap]

Thin shaming is like white people thinking they can experience racism. Like, you can experience prejudice, but you are not experiencing systemic issues in any way, shape, or form that you do when you're fat. Obviously, both are bad, and you shouldn't shame anyone, but one is so clearly worse. Also, when did OP say that either were okay? Please use reading comprehension...

anon you seem to have confused the definition of racism with the definition of institutional racism, I don't think I'm the one with reading comprehension issues. You literally even just said they can experience prejudice.

Here are the definitions of racism and institutional racism:

rac·ism

prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Institutional racism

the perpetuation of discrimination on the basis of “race” by political, economic, or legal institutions and systems.

I'm sure this is the point where you'll have a little angry fit about how 'definitions change' despite the fact these things are literally two different definitions entirely, because tumblr hates facts. (The Irish would like a word with you, about your belief that white people have never been institutionally discriminated against btw)

Assuming you haven't stormed off at this point, I'll humour you against my better judgement. Let me start with a question:

would you like to point out where I said OP said it was okay?

Literally all I said is that it's gross to make this shit a competition and minimize other peoples experiences (much like people in the notes are doing to mine because clearly they know more about my own experiences than I do!) based on your own, anecdotal ones and that the attitude of, and I quote directly from the op of the post: "I think skinny people who have never been fat should shut up about who gets body shamed more permanently" is gross as hell.

bet you if it said 'Fat people who have never been skinny' instead ya'll'd be throwing a goddamn fit over it bc it's a shitty sentiment to have - but because it's directed towards thin people, it's somehow okay. It's hypocritical as hell, and I repeat: it is not a fucking competition.

It's not 'worse' or 'better' on one side and the modern day pain olympics people try to compete in are tiring and abhorrent. Stop belittling other people to feel better about yourself. Telling thin people they don't have it as bad as you makes you just as shitty as the people bodyshaming them to begin with. How does telling people their feelings don't matter help anyone?

Stop making it a competition. Bodyshaming is shitty. Period. End of. You cannot measure suffering and it is so fucking petty and childish that people can't just say 'hey, it sucks that you get shamed for something about your body you may not be able to control - I understand how it feels, don't let it get you down.'

It costs literally zero dollars to just be kind to people no matter what size, shape, colour, or whatever. It's literally free. Literally all I have said is that people should just stop trying to one up each other like some sort of sick pain olympics and maybe be a little more compassionate to people who might understand their own hurt in a way that really is not that different.

[bookofmirth]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but...

Elain doesn’t know or care if you’re shipping her with Tamlin. Azriel doesn’t know or care if I think he is similar to Tamlin. Gwyn doesn’t care if you think she’s a lightsinger. Mor doesn’t care if you think she’s at fault for all of Az’s emotional trauma. Rhysand does not give a shit if you think that he’s a dick to Nesta.

None of that stuff actually matters, because those aren’t real people, and I can’t believe that I have to emphasize this. Everyone has their own personal squicks, things that they personally find distasteful. Block the person who did it, and move on. It’s not hard. 

Critique of a fictional character is not about you as a person. Shipping two characters together says nothing about 1) the people who like those characters or 2) the people who ship them together. The person writing these posts likely doesn’t know a single thing about you, so it’s on you to block them.

Here are things that people have done to me, an actual person, since acosf came out:

People screenshot my posts to put on Twitter to make fun of

Y’all have seen the annoying/rude anons I’ve gotten - I’ve deleted a good dozen or so that were worse

I’ve been vagued multiple times and called a disgusting person for calling out abuse warning signs

Lies about me were posted publicly

I’ve felt forced to disclose my history with emotional and domestic abuse because my integrity was questioned

People have said passive aggressive shit about my profession (while also getting my profession wrong lmao but anyway)

That’s just stuff that happened to me. To other people:

Being accused of racism as an excuse to defend a ship

Hateful anons calling them a c*nt, etc.

Being forced to change blog names so people will leave them alone

Constant name-dropping harassment on other platforms (mainly Twitter)

Deactivating accounts

Being accused of using personal, traumatic history as a weapon in a ship war (this didn’t happen to me directly but I know people think it)

Threats to sjm’s child (I know they were supposedly jokes - they weren’t effing funny)

Mocking roleplayers on tik tok

Misgendering artists

Harassing artists for what they do/don’t ship

Implying that shipping makes the shipper either an abuse apologist or a p*do

Misuse of content/trigger warnings 

Bodyshaming an actress until she deactivated

Every single one of those things above was directed at actual people. 

I don’t care what people ship. I really don’t. I still hold onto cazriel as my preferred ship over nessian or gwynriel. I don’t assume that all people who ship e*riel hate Lucien, or that all people who ship tamlain like abusive relationships because shipping is about the characters, not the person doing the shipping.

But please, for the love of all that is fictional, can we stop pretending like people’s ideas about fictional characters are the equivalent of harming actual people. There is a huge difference between writing a theory about a fictional character, and harassing a real person. 

Last thought - there is also a thin line between talking about a ship you don’t like, and making comments about the people who ship it. The first is fine. The second, not so much. Don’t confuse the shipper with the ship. Shipping tamlain? Whatever. You do you. Accusing people who ship it of being abuse apologists? Nope!

[sokkas-honour]

#17 for the spotify wrapped with zuko! <3

prom queen - zuko x reader

pairing: zuko x fem!reader

wc: 1k (it’s a short one, i didn’t feel like exploring this song too much as i associate it with a certain sort of my life. i also didn’t put too much effort into tbh, again for the same reason)

warning: if you’re sensitive to body image talk, possible diet talk, possible starvation mention, please don’t go any further. i tried to keep it as light as possible but i did project onto it a bit.

notes: i cherry picked lyrics that work best for this, and the least triggering ones. its kinda of a part two to detention as requested by @aangsupremacy (hopefully this works for you), just not a direct one.

wish i was like you, blue-eyed blondie, perfect body,

she was everything you could never be. with beautiful long black hair and an elegance that you only wish you could have. but most of all, she had the firelord’s attention, she had his heart. she had his attention ever since they were children and it was foolish of you to ever imagine things going differently.

it was foolish of you to think he’d even fall for you, the waterbender who’d been tasked to be his bodyguard ever since you two were children. it was foolish of you to think that, even though you two had been through so much together, you still would never even cross his mind as anything more than a simple friend.

all the nights you two spent on that boat, giving him a space to talk when he needed it. you had always been there for him, you were with him every step of the way from the agni kai to ba sing se, to joining the avatar and defeating ozai. you two had grown close during that time and you genuinely thought that something was happening between the two of you, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. you had forgotten that the affection that zuko felt towards mai transcended any relationship that you had built up with him. spirits did you wish you were her.

maybe I should try harder, you should lower your beauty standards,

you remembered the comments you used to get while on the boat, your body constantly being picked apart by middle aged men who didn’t have any better to do then to bodyshame a teenager. being away from the crew, a weight had been lifters off your shoulders when you found a group of friends that never said anything about your appearance nor found anything wrong with it.

you should’ve realised that when you agreed to join zuko as his advisor that the picking apart would get worse. his cabinet was still very closed minded and judgemental, none of them liked the idea of a waterbender from a watertribe to be the one advising the leader of the firenation, none of them seemed to remember that your whole childhood was spent in between these walls.

most of the time, words were never said directly to you but usually were whispers strategically placed to make sure you heard what they all thought about you. it hurt a lot but you were able to push down all of your emotions until one day, when someone who used to be a part of zuko’s crew, came to help him around the place. the crew had caught on that despite how much he aggravated you, you had a thing for zuko, so he of course made fun of you for it in front of the firelord’s officers who knew of his current relationship status. and that’s when things started to go down hill.

“i’m going to find the firelord and see what he thinks about it.” it all started when you were having a meeting with some of his esteemed generals and admirals, he was absent so you took his place which meant that some people thought it was fun to try and take advantage of your lack of authority. the only way to settle the current argument was to grab the firelord himself and drag zuko into the mess that only he could clean.

“wouldn’t want to do that, his girlfriend might think you’d want to steal him.” a misplaced teasing rang from general tao, one who seemed to always be against you.

“please, mai would take one look at her and not even think that she’d pose a threat. i mean have you seen her body?” another voice inserted himself into the conversation and you started to feel like you’d wish that you could just evaporate into thin air.

“not to mention that marrying someone from the watertribe would be absolutely dishonourable.” general sho added, a smirk on his face as he knew that all of their comments were affecting you. sho was definitely someone who liked to pretend that he didn’t miss ozai, just like half of the people in the room that laughed at the jokes.

“meeting adjourned.” you exclaimed, not wanting to even deal with them any longer and just go to your room and cry about what had happened. you were the first to stand up and go to the leave the room but right as you were about to leave, you heard one more comment.

“go cry about it, maybe you can waterbend it or, even better, loose a little.” it was the last straw and you felt your eyes prick with tears but you couldn’t show total weakness so you held your composure and scurried to your room, making sure to avoid absolutely anyone.

im no quick-curl barbie, i was never cut out for prom queen,

when you closed the door to your chamber, you threw yourself on your bed and just cried, letting all the words that everyone had ever said get to you. you knew that you weren’t ever going to make a good ruler, which is probably for the best that mai is a good contender for the position seeing as she and zuko are madly in love.

but spirits did you wish you were. you weren’t the regal type, you weren’t elegant, you weren’t raised as someone important, you were raised as a bodyguard who’s entire worth was based on wether or not you could protect the future firelord. not matter how much you tried to get over him, you couldn’t. your entire self worth had been based around him since a young age so of course it continued into your early adult years. your whole life had been intertwined with zuko and your destinies, at least that’s what you thought, were always going to be shared in a way.

maybe that’s why you tried your hardest to always be nice to him, be there for him, be a friend for him even when he didn’t want one. sometimes you wondered if you actually did love him or if it was just that if he did love you, you would actually feel like you had a place. you’d always conclude that it was the first, just seeing him happy and smile made your heart race as a fast as a rollercoaster. no one else had ever done that to you.

you remembered the one time you had ever lashed out at zuko. you were grieving and he was being selfish. you had always given him the space to talk about his feelings so you expected the same, only, it took you ignoring him for a couple of days for him to finally understand that friendship was a two way street, even when he was banished.

after that, zuko always listened to you when you needed it and spirits did you wish he was there now. you don’t exactly know what you’d tell him but in right now, you craved him just rubbing your back soothingly and letting you air out what was on your mind. those moments weren’t too common but they were precious.

you were ready to just recompose yourself in your room alone but you jumped a bit when you heard someone knock at the door.

“shit.” you mumbled, quickly trying to find somewhere to look at your reflection to wipe the tears and boy was that going to be a problem. your eyes were red, cheeks were puffy and heavily tear stained, and your hair was disheveled from gripping it as you sobbed.

there was nothing you could do but pray that whoever was behind that door was just a guard coming by to tell you something, they never commented on your current appearance as they were used to seeing the firelord in unpleasant circumstances.

you took a deep breath in and went to open the door. you felt your heart stop when you saw your best friend with a huge smile on his face.

“hey y/n, i-" zuko started off his greeting with the cheeriest voice you’d ever heard from him but the tone quickly switched once he registered that you had been crying. “are you okay?”

“yeah zuko, i’m fine.” you lied, fully aware that he could see that you weren’t and the lie was useless, but you couldn’t talk about what was going on with zuko.

“y/n i know you’re lying, you’re my best friend. and you look like you’ve just been crying.” zuko placed his hand on your cheek and rubbed his thumb gently from side to side. you sighed and leaned into it, savouring the affectionate moment.

“it’s fine, it’s nothing important.” you mumbled after a couple of seconds were spent in silence, not knowing if this was the time to tell him about the treatment that you’d received from his generals and the love that you had for him.

“you know you can tell me anything, right y/n? i learned that a while ago thanks to you. i come to you for help and advice, and vice versa.” he insisted, removing his hand, much to your dismay. his eyes filled with concern as he wasn’t going to just dismiss your feelings like the last time he’d found you crying.

“i don’t want to talk about it right now, maybe at another time.” you compromised, figuring that in a day or so you could finally come forward about it without breaking down.

“deal.” he smiled, glad that you had accepted his help.

“but you had news to tell me, so don’t let the way i look keep you from telling me.” you returned his smile, changing your tone to one of intrigue at the wonder of what got your friend so excited.

“mai said yes to the trip!” he announced giddily.

“the trip to?” you asked confused, if he had discussed this trip with you, you had completely forgotten.

“the trip where i plan to propose to her! i’m pretty sure i told you about this the other week.” he clarified, slightly confused as to why you didn’t remember as in his memory, he had talked it out with you a couple of weeks prior.

“oh yeah, that trip.” you felt your heart drop, you completely forgot about that, it was the last hope of zuko ever loving you as more than a friend, it was already small to begin with but now it was nonexistent. she would say yes and you’d have to live with the knowledge that you never said anything to him, you’d have to live with and help the new firelady, you’d have to see them rule the nation as you’d just think about your unrequited love.

“we leave the day after tomorrow, do you think she’ll say yes?” the firelord was nervous about a girl, your heart broke a bit knowing that you never had that affect on him but it was to her fault for keeping your feelings to yourself.

“of course she will zuko. the two of you are perfect for each other. you’re handsome, a great friend, you’re always there for your friends, you always want what’s best for everyone, and youre a great ruler. and mai, mai’s just drop dead gorgeous.” you rambled, not realizing that you might have raised his suspicions at your listing of his qualities but all it did was make him more confident, he must’ve only seen your small confession as a planotic one.

“thank you y/n. and when i get back, i’ll find someone for you so we can have double dates!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“yeah zuko, that’d be great.” if only he knew that the only person for you was him. you only gave him a half smile before he turned around to do whatever, leaving you alone in your room with something more to cry about.

if im pretty, will you like me? they say "beauty makes boys happy"

a little while after he left, you went out of your room to go clear your mind next to one of the turtle duck ponds. as you sat down to watch the adorable animals, you saw mai pass down the hallway that opened to the courtyard. she spotted you and waved, not bothering to stop as she probably had somewhere to be. you waved back but it made you realise something.

as you looked at your reflection, you thought of how beautiful mai was and how average you were. you’d never compare to her beauty, meaning zuko would never look at you and think ‘woah’. maybe no one would ever see you as the most gorgeous person in the four nations, all you’d be was someone who let the love of their life live with his life without knowing about your feelings.

maybe it was time to move out of the firepalace, the guards didn’t seem to like you and the comments started to get too much to hide the way it hurt you. you wouldn’t have to watch zuko and mai act all lovey dovey. youd finally move on from your life where your whole worth was based around the banished prince turned firelord. maybe you’d find love with someone who saw you as their whole world just like zuko did with mai.

maybe your life would be better.

atla taglist: @draqondance @biqherosix @missmorosis @firelady-jay

zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik

[compassionatereminders]

I'm really annoyed because there is a bodyshaming post going around rn and getting a lot of notes. So far, 3 people that I have been following have reblogged it, so I blocked them. There's no point in saying anything to them or OP, because they are mocking people that said how hurtful that is. Apparently it's okay to bodyshame certain groups....

I'm sorry you had to come across that. Body shaming isn't okay no matter who it's directed at.

[foxydivaxx]

Seriously what is wrong with you childish fools in the Naruto fandom?! I get you do not like characters and it isn't by force but still, don't go entering a character's tag and start spreading hate and drag fans of said character down. You are only making yourself more miserable and stupid. And to all those bashing the female characters, Sakura and Hinata especially, do check your damn selves in the mirror because all the criticism you direct at those two or any kinouchi for that matter also applies to you as well. All that bodyshaming and labelling them useless is disgusting and uncalled fot. These young women are filled with talent and potential. The problem is Kishimoto who keeps shafting them in the background as he seems to be clueless as to what he should do with them and the delusional shippers who like validating their ships by coming up with all kinds of theories and shove said ships down people's throats particularly the NaruSaku, SasuSaku,SasuHina and Naruhina camps. Seriously, I have read loads of Naruto fanfics that give the characters especially the girls better character development than the shit Kishimoto writes at times. Heck I might one day write a fanfic that centers around the female charactets because they deserve some exposure. And don't come here spewing some feminist shit as all y'all bitches are just a bunch of shallow hypocrites trying to make their empty lives better by bringing others down. I am sure all those toxic weeds are bullies in their respective schools and whatnot.

[projectruby-blog1]

NEVER PUSH- ALWAYS DIRECT

This is for all those people who feel the need to push someone on a fitness/weight loss journey. Do you really think if you constantly nag and complain and embarrass someone about their mounting weight that they are going to drop those cookies and head to the gym? 

Do you really think they don’t look at themselves in the mirror and hope for that awakening? Do you really think that those nasty bodyshamers haven’t made them realize that they need to change their lifestyle?

what’s happening instead is that every time you’re hurting them, food is comforting them. What you’re not realizing is that your efforts to make them walk down the fitness route are actually becoming counterproductive.

How do I know that? Because I have been there. Bad food habits and bad sleeping habits, turned me into this obese 90kg individual in the last year of my college days. And it happened so gradually that I didn’t even realize when it hit me. 

I was so ashamed and I had become a recluse and I felt like I had done this serious damage to myself and that no amount of help is going to undo it. People around me were not very forgiving as well. I would constantly be made fun off and I would come home thinking oh well...since I cant do much about it let me just drown myself into a cookie jar. 

I would hate shopping. I was suppose to head to London for my post grad studies. And that whole shopping experience was just plain grueling. Looking for XL sizes in styles that I loved, and settling for styles that came in XL size became the story of my life. I ached to wear certain clothes without looking like a stuffed up teddy bear in a LBD. 

In short....no one was guiding me but everyone was pushing me.

When I came back from London and was in the midst of job hunting, and basically feeling sorry for my puffed up body (You get the best pies in London btw), I used to see my sister hitting the gym like a religion. She would come back from work and no matter how tired she would be, she would still put in that 50-60 min of training in. And I was fascinated. 

I decided to start going with her. I promise you I gave myself no goals. I just decided to make it a routine, like brushing my teeth, rather than a mission. No one likes to entertain missions that are painful, we usually fall of those wagons. I did it initially just to make it to the gym---- and then figure from there.

My first week at the gym was so damn painful. Not because my body hurt, because my soul did. People in the gyms are far less forgiving than those you meet socially. because they also judge you from their looks not just their words. Today when I train, and there is someone on the plus side that enters the gym, I always pair with them for my workout that day and gently push them enough for them to realize their potentially without being obvious about it. Nothing more satisfying to see someone who entered the box feeling feeble, eventually leaving feeling powerful. 

At the gym, in those first few days of my fitness journey,  I did bare minimum. I would read up a lot about workouts and how they benefit, good form etc and nutrition. It took me a year to figure and stick to a good workout plan for myself and a diet plan. along with my work, I would make sure I hit the gym 5 days a week minimum. The transformation was amazing, and I couldn’t believe myself when the scales revealed I was a 61kg. Yes! from a 90kg to a 61kg in a year. I lost 29kgs. I felt fitter I felt stronger and I felt a whole lot good about myself. 

I give the credit to my fitness journey completely to my sister. She, without really pushing me, guided me down  the road. I remember, I am sure she doesn't, how one day she decided to skip her workout because she had a tough day at work. These were early days at the gym for me. and I told her that if she slacked I would too, she looked at me and smiled and said “lets go then”. It made all the difference for me. 

All she did was guide me, direct me, and supported me through it without being nagging, complaining, belittling or being sorry for me. She simply made sure I showed up, and guided me when I asked for it.

Weighloss/Fitness as a journey needs to come from a completely different place in your head and heart. It cannot be about getting married, it cannot be about heartbreak, it cannot be about getting into a certain dress size, no way, those issues wont last, and as a result your journey won’t last either.

It needs to come from something deeper, something like confidence, strength, determination, respecting your own self, feeling fitter, feeling in control of yourself. Tell me how can someone instill those in you? They can’t.

My husband always said that unless you keep reminding someone they need to get fitter they won’t. And I would always tell him he is wrong. He once asked me how then do people one day decided to change their life. I told him, “you wake up and you realize that if you don’t do something today to change your life, it might just be too late. and that day you don’t care if you have the right Nike shoes or the right Reebok Tee to match your Reebok tracks, you get your shit together anyway and just make it to the gym” It’s true.